Friday, 5 March 2010

The Landfill Prize 2010

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This has to be my favourite time of year, when John Naish, author of Enough, announces the winners of The Landfill Prize, to hghlight all sorts of novelty gadgets that form Britain's cleverest rubbish.    Having succeeded to get my nomination for SatNag in the 2009 Top Ten, I failed to get around to even nominating anything this year, but I am enjoying the results all the same.

I've included the Top 3 here, of which there are already a couple that are really making my sides hurt with laughter, much due to the nominators' comments as well as the items themselves. I just wish that it was really that funny, given the amount resources and our money that's wasted on stuff that gets hidden in a drawer when the novelty's worn off.

A Bra Dryer and an Ear Dryer, blimmin' 'eck, they'll be coming out with a Pants Dryer next...hmm now that might just be of interest....

Here's that Top 3:


1. Digital fridge magnet

Is scribbling notes with a pen on a whiteboard to complex, too onerous… too 20th century? Here’s the Digital Video Memo, a fridge magnet on which you can record a 30-second video message. Look into the camera, press the record button and start talking. You’ve only added a digital screen, a rechargeable battery system, a computer and a camera to the planet’s landfill potential. According to users’ reports, the screen is tiny and the volume’s too low, so you have to stick your mouth right near the camera… so all people get to see is a quietly talking ear.

http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/digital-video-memo/index.html

Nominated by Karen Varga, who says, ‘You can just picture the workers in overseas factories going "What the **** are these for and why do these mad westerners need them?’


2. The Bra Dyer

The makers say the “Bra Dryer is a simple device which is based on the presumption that the best way to dry bras without ruining their fabric, wiring and padding is to dry them on a shape which resembles female breasts. That's why Bra Dryer is shaped like a female torso”.

Rea Cris, who nominated it, remarks: “What women is seriously thinking: ‘YES! Fantastic, this is what I have been waiting for: metalic dismembered hot breasts, they'll match the wallpaper perfectly!’”

Nominated by Rea Cris, Edinburgh,
http://www.bradryer.com


3. The Dryear Ear Dryer

Wave goodbye to towels (almost). Here’s how you can spend a lot of cash, use electricity and create lots of energy waste – with a battery-operated hot-air ear dryer. 'Drying your ears has never been simpler or more effective'. Or, at £69, could it be more expensive? The device slots into the ear canal and blows hot air. Oh, and the instructions advise you to dry your ears with a towel first.

Nominated by Anna, London
www.dryear.net


To see the rest of the list that was judged by John Naish, Anna Shepard, Carl HonorĂ© and Ben Davis, visit www.enoughness.co.uk.  And if you know anyone who's got bored of their gadgets, do remind them to WEEEcycle them won't you, via the waste electricals bin at the HWRC, instead of dumping them in the bin.

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Wednesday, 18 February 2009

The Landfill Prize has been announced!

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It's official. The Motorised ice-cream cone has been voted Britain’s most pointless, wasteful product by the Landfill Prize panel.

I had hoped my nomination, the Sat Nag, would have landed the top prize but I can't agree more that a motorised ice-cream cone is one thing the world doesn't need and is a very deserving winner.

This plastic gadget has been voted the winner of the Landfill prize, the award for Britain’s most pointless, wasteful and over-complex consumer item, after thousands of people visited the site, many offering nominations.

The motorised cone, marketed by the Perpetual Kid company, joins the list of such consumer wonders as a loudspeaker-equipped fishing chair, the Nintendo Wii Fit and a plastic electronic chameleon that doesn’t actually change colour.

John Naish, the prize’s founder and author of Enough: Breaking Free from The world Of Excess, says, “There might be a credit crisis, but it hasn’t stopped manufacturers churning out ever more unnecessarily convoluted consumer inventions – gadgets and gizmos that cost us precious money and planetary resources, but which rapidly end up dumped in landfill, or stashed at the back of cupboards or in costly rented storage facilities. "

The Landfill Prize was launched last year to lampoon what John calls this bizarre consumer habit. Nominations were judged by a prestigious panel of four including himself, Carl Honoré, the author of In Praise of Slow, Anna Shepard, the author of How Green Are My Wellies, and Ben Davis, the founder of BuyLessCrap.

Comparing this year's results to 2008, John remarks “There has been a marked change in the nominations from last year, when people emailed us to rail at “deluxe” items such as sonically driven toothbrushes, computer controlled air-fresheners and razors with an infinitude of blades. This year, luxury isn’t even on the radar. It’s been crunched out. Instead, novelty items provoked the worst of Britain’s ire. Perhaps there’s a new Puritanism dawning in these straitened times. Or maybe these items simply represent the ultimate waste of space."

“There’s a serious side to this lampoonery. The prize aims to highlight the fact that, thanks to modern high-tech, we should now have all the gear we need to enjoy comfortable, contented lives. Our culture is easily capable of producing myriad consumer items that are durable, reliable and useful enough to give years of great, economical service. Instead we’re still being offered evanescent junk. This year’s voting shows a sea change in sensibilities: novelties are now considered an item we no longer want to afford.”

So with bated breath...let's take a look at the winner and the runners up that made it into the Landfill Prize Top 10. I'm sure you'll agree there are quite a few deserving entrants and you might even recognise one or two!


The Landfill Prize top ten

1 Motorised Ice-Cream Cone.

Ostensibly for those too lazy to twist their wrists when eating an ice-cream. You pop your cone in it, stick your tongue out and it does all the hard work for you. Oh, hang on, it’s spattered gunk all over your chest. And the battery’s run out.


2 The Plane Sheet

Flying not sufficiently bad for the environment? Now travellers can boost their footprint with the Plane Sheet, an airliner seat cover available in a variety of finishes such as leopardskin, to "transform a tired, overused airline seat into a cozy, happy place... while keeping at bay germs from previous passengers” (hygiene paranoia not included). PlaneSheets.com says that you can even have yours monogrammed. Classy.


3 Motorised fork

More spin from the world of novelty gadgets. The children of class P6/1 at Dingwall Primary School in Scotland, who nominated this battery-driven object, report that it is actually much slower at twirling noodles than using your own hand the old-fashioned way. The spinning cutlery is sold via Amazon, but the children aren’t impressed: “We think it is useless and wasteful,” they said.


4 Loudspeaker-equipped fishing chair

Just what every angler needs? No peace and quiet, but a folding fishing chair equipped with four loudspeakers, marketed via eBay. As Ben Davis, one of our judges commented, “Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a folding fishing chair with built in speakers and he can annoy others for life.”


5 USB-powered Chameleon

Novelty galore here. Well, almost. The plastic USB-powered chameleon, sold by Thanksdarling.com, plugs into your computer and sits atop your screen, drolly rolling its beady eyes. But hang on, it doesn’t actually change colour. Not ever. Are we missing a core value here?


6 Nintendo Wii Fit

Dave Watts, of Shropshire, nominated the popular exercise gadget, saying, “I don't need to pay an extortionate amount of money to get fit. I can do it for free by stepping outside the front door and going for a walk. I can talk to my children and wife, listen to music or the wild life or just think about how good life is without all the gizmos.


7 The Guitar Hero franchise

“Is learning three chords really too difficult?” asked Jeremy Williams, who nominated the bestselling video toy. “Rather than learn to play an actual instrument, you can now make a virtual cacophony on virtual instruments by pressing primary coloured buttons on a plastic guitar. There's probably two or three whole minutes of fun to be had before the buyer’s remorse kicks in.”


8 Digital Electronic Jumping Rope

Bored with your ropey old skipping rope? How about Reebok’s electronic version with batteries in the handles that counts the number of times you jump up and down and "calculates" the calories you’ve burned? Sadly you can’t accurately gauge your calorie-burn without making complex guesstimates based on your weight, age, metabolic rate, skipping speed, etc. But then that’s not the point of convoluted exercise gear. It’s to keep you motivated for, oh, several days.


9 The Toyota Prius

How can the Toyota Pious (oops Prius), be an eco-friendly car when it is actually built with two engines, asks its nominator, Andy Marks. He wonders if it is actually a status symbol for drivers who want to look “greener than you”. A moot point, perhaps, but Toyota's own study of 24,000 people who bought Priuses in America in 2007 found that many purchased it as a [itals] third [end-itals] family car.


10 The Sat Nag

This £6.99 electronic novelty mocks the Sat Nav device, blasting its owner with 24 annoying comments. It is sold through www.lazyboneuk.com, and typical phrases include: “You have reached your destination - you may now throttle your passenger.” Its nominator Karen Cannard (yes that's me), feels that this is taking a thin joke too far.

Yay....So the Sat Nag made it..hooray! I could say I'm dead chuffed, but isn't it a terrible state of affairs that so much needless tat is produced in the first place.

For more information about the Landfill Prize and to see the winners in all their useless good-for-nothing glory, please pop along to www.landfillprize.co.uk and check out the links.


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Tuesday, 6 January 2009

In 100 days, drive left and then turn right to landfill

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If you're the kind of person who regularly berates the amount of over-packaged, over-blinged and over-rated crap to swamp our planet, I've got a real treat for you tonight as it's time to stand up and reveal the worst offenders.

Created by John Naish, author of Enough, The Landfill Prize is inviting nominations for the most needless, wasteful uses of our planet's precious resources that you've discovered in the last year.

So, if like me you have a pet hate up your sleeve, it's now time to flaunt it. Just pop over to www.enoughness.co.uk to see how you can nominate. You'll have to be quick though as the judging panel is getting ready to name and shame the worst offenders in February.

I've got my nomination sorted, representing a whole host of novelty gadgets whose only purpose are to amuse or bemuse for all of five minutes before they end up abandoned in a drawer or even worse in landfill.

My nomination is none other than an irritating product called the Sat Nag, which at £6.99 mocks the more well know Sat Nav device, blasting its owner with 24 annoying comments featuring totally unhelpful commands.

Typical phrases include "In 100 metres, I’m going to ask you to move over to the slow lane, so I can fix my makeup" and "You have reached your destination - you may now throttle your passenger."

It's not just unnecessarily irritating, it's irritatingly unnecessary and is as funny as your mother-in-law sat in the passenger seat, poking an umbrella in your ear hole.

Well that's my rant over. It's always therapeutic to get something off my chest and huge thanks to John Naish and The Landfill Prize panel for allowing me the opportunity. So with my nomination sorted, I wonder what yours would be. Go on....have a rant and then go and nominate!

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